Looks don’t matter…

“God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

John 4:24

This morning my grand-daughter wanted to go online and do a search to see what God looks like. I asked, “Is it important to know what God looks like?” Her response was so sweet, “Yes, because He is a special person and he watches over us when we are asleep and when we are awake. He created all of us and He loves us more than any one. He’s a wonderful guy and we should know what He looks like, because we love Him so much.”

I told her that I have a picture of God in my mind and I think others probably do too, but no one really knows what He looks like. We did a Google search and came up with all kinds of images… many of them the usual images we see of Jesus. This lead to a conversation about what Jesus really looks like. I explained how there were no cameras back when Jesus walked on earth so all we have is passed down word of mouth and maybe some sketchy drawings of what He looks like.

It’s hard to explain to a 9 year old that it really doesn’t matter what God looks like. Over the past few weeks we have had the conversation about how looks don’t matter, it’s what’s inside that is important. She really wants to know what He looks like… and is telling me it doesn’t matter if He’s chubby or ugly or whatever, she just wants to see. Wow, it’s hard to explain to a lil one that God is a Spirit and we have to accept that. But we’ll keep working on that.

Today’s prayer will be from the mouth of a babe, not me –

~ Dear God, I wonder if You are a Spirit in people’s hearts. I wish I knew what You look like, I can’t stop thinking what You look like. I think You are an angel or a man or a wizard and I don’t care what You look like mostly but I really want to know because You made me. I love You God and Jesus and Mary. I hope You are feeling wonderful. I love You so so much. In Your Son Jesus name we pray, Amen. Bye God ~

Mom's...

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 139: 13-14

First off… Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful Mom’s in my world and any others who might read this!

For the past few days I’ve been driving by a local church that has the following on their sign out front, “Thank you God for Mom’s”. Each day I read it, said “amen” and pondered it.

I am so very grateful for my Mom and all she is to me. We have a relationship that is absolutely wonderful and one I wish all children could have with their own mothers. I’m also grateful that I was blessed enough to be a Mom to my daughter. My ponderings on that one were rather harsh as I wish I could have a “do over” in that department. I know I can’t and the good thing is my daughter and I have from this day forward and I feel our relationship is growing and blossoming… this makes me very happy.

The other thing I have thought about is how God in his infinite wisdom created Mom’s. He could have made humans appear in any manner He wanted. It’s rather frightening to think of all the things that could have been. But as always He had the perfect plan and through His love for us He carried it out. God gave us Mom’s! He knew that we would grow and thrive under the care of our mothers.

I would like to say that all have a wonderful childhood with fantastic mothers, but we all know that isn’t the case and I’m not qualified to go into the why’s and how’s on that issue. What I do see is God’s amazing plan for us and how He created us so wonderfully so that we can help to carry out His plan.

Thank you God for Mom’s!!!

~ Lord, thank you for creating us and loving us. You gave me a Mom to love, protect and care for me and I am so very grateful. Please help me to be all it is You want me to be… to not only my family who I love so much, but to every person that crosses my path. I ask this in Jesus’ name, Amen.~

Hard to find joy…

 “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me - just as the Father knows me and I know the Father - and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd."

John 10:14-16

I was driving to work the other day thinking about how difficult this time of year is for me. While many rejoice in Christ’s resurrection, I still find it hard to get past the horrible suffering of His death on the cross. I am forever grateful and amazed and in awe and well just can’t find the right word to describe how I feel about what He did for us. But joyful isn’t one of the words I use to describe how I feel. This is one area I see as me being an immature Christian. That’s ok, I hope to always be growing and maturing in my faith.

So, I’m driving to work and thinking about this and asking myself… “Would I die for my daughter, my grandchild?” Here was my answer to myself, “Yes I would but please let it be quick and painless.” So even in a bit of selflessness, I’m still selfish! I didn’t like my answer but it’s the truth. Then I started to compare that to what Jesus endured for us. How He suffered beyond belief and not for any wrong doing of His own. Then I thought about how He not only died for the sins of His immediate children (The Jews), but he died for ALL of our sins. In the above verse Jesus says that he will not only lay down His life for the sheep in His pen, but for other sheep. Those who He knows and will listen to His voice… they will all become one flock. Wow! Back to me… would I die for other people’s children? Willingly put my life on the line for someone I never met?

To me this is just one teeny tiny example of how I will never come close to being like Christ. I would like to spend the rest of my days on earth trying to better myself and following His Word, but I best not ever dare compare myself to Him. Or, think that He’s anything like me. The closest we get to being alike is He walked on the earth and I do too… and we were born of Jewish faith which makes me proud. I hope my family reads that… who would have thought that I would have ever said I’m proud of my Jewish heritage? And especially after becoming a Christian!

Ok, I wandered a bit here.

As Easter approaches and we get ready to “celebrate”, I find my mood becoming more and more somber about the events to come. Oh, I’ll get caught up in the joy of Easter morning as we sing and worship… and maybe this year I will walk away able to hold on to that joy and see the resurrection of my Lord and Savior in a different light.

~ Lord, thank you for what you did, and do, for us. I know I can never imagine what you endured and how you did it willingly; all I can do is praise and worship and try to be a good disciple. Please be with me and guide me to be the best person I can be for You! I ask this in Your name, Amen.~

Comfort in scary times…

Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. 

Isaiah 40:1

As time goes by and I don’t blog on the weekly basis I said I was going to, I get more and more upset with myself. I think I’ve said this before, huh! I guess it’s just not going to happen as often as I had hoped. I just looked and it’s been almost a month since my last blog… ick. I will blog for sure… just no more saying it will be weekly. Maybe if I take that pressure off myself it will happen more!

Life has been very unsure lately in many ways. I was in California for 10 days and as many of you that know me already know, we were making plans for my Mom to have surgery. I was there for my daughter’s birthday and to watch my grand-children for a few days while she got a much needed break. But also we had this impending surgery for Mom that we had to deal with. Surgery was scheduled for March 10^th and I was gonna just extend my stay for as long as needed. But she had an epidural that gave much relief so surgery was moved to March 24^th. This was great in that it made the remainder of our time together much more enjoyable for her and gave her some time to rest and prepare for surgery. Her pain had been so horrific that she was barely getting any sleep so was exhausted on top of being in such pain. I came home but left most all my stuff there cuz I was gonna be back in two weeks or so. A few days after I left Mom went for a 2^nd opinion and with that and her internist talking to her there is a new plan of action… for now no surgery! This is great news and we are praying that she can continue with pain management in the form of epidurals and no surgery ever. Of course time will tell, but for now it’s wonderful news.

So, on my end all the not knowing when I was gonna be traveling or home.... trying to get my business organized… working around my hubby’s schedule and other family members… trying to plan ahead with not really knowing what the plans are. That on top of being in a not good place with my business and finances and really not seeing light at the end of this tunnel… I have been extremely stressed and finding it hard to feel comfort… finding it hard to be happy even. I’m worried, flat out concerned and worried. Even with the great news of no surgery for Mom, I still can’t seem to find peace within.

God is trying to show Himself to me, this I know and this is what I want to write about. As I’ve mentioned before, we are studying the book of Isaiah in BSF. We are at the part of Isaiah where God reveals great comfort to His people. Some of the passages we have read have been amazingly comforting and I wonder how I can walk away from reading and/or talking about them and within hours be back to feeling as stressed and unsure as I am. I do know without a doubt that I am studying exactly what I need to be studying at this time!

While I was in California I experienced bad dreams almost every night. They were actually early morning dreams that I would wake up from and not go back to sleep. The good part was when I woke up and realized they were just dreams I didn’t jump out of bed right away. I laid in bed and talked to Jesus… said good morning (something I said many blogs ago that I was going to work on doing daily) and just spent some time talking.

I think the dreams eased up towards the end of my trip and I haven’t noticed them since I got home except for one which I’m going to try to explain. It’s fuzzy, but here’s what I remember:

I was with my Mom someplace. It wasn’t a public place, but it wasn’t any of our homes as far as I can remember. I just knew it was someplace that was private and we were talking about something important. All of a sudden the door bursts open and there are people coming in. I had no idea who there were but my Mom did and she screamed out “no!” She threw me to the floor and then got on top of me and we started to roll away from the people. It was like we were embraced rolling down a hill fast. I felt complete terror. Still not knowing who they were I did know they were there to kill us. In an instant, and I mean instant… not gradually at all…. I felt calm. I felt calmer than I can remember ever feeling before. It was like it didn’t matter at all what happened, God was with me and all was well. I don’t know if He talked to me, I can’t remember if I said anything… I just know He was there and it was the most amazing feeling going from complete terror to complete reassurance and comfort.

It’s been days since I had that dream but I think about it all the time and wanted to share it. No clue why, just one of those things.

~ Lord, thank you for taking care of my family… especially Mom at this time. I ask that you please continue to embrace her, keep her comfy and help her with upcoming decisions. Also thank You for the comfort You give me and all Your children here on earth. Please help me to see what is important and to go through my days with less fear, stress and anxiety. I ask this in Jesus’ name, Amen.~