Comfort, comfort my people, says your God.
Isaiah 40:1
As time goes by and I don’t blog on the weekly basis I said I was going to, I get more and more upset with myself. I think I’ve said this before, huh! I guess it’s just not going to happen as often as I had hoped. I just looked and it’s been almost a month since my last blog… ick. I will blog for sure… just no more saying it will be weekly. Maybe if I take that pressure off myself it will happen more!
Life has been very unsure lately in many ways. I was in California for 10 days and as many of you that know me already know, we were making plans for my Mom to have surgery. I was there for my daughter’s birthday and to watch my grand-children for a few days while she got a much needed break. But also we had this impending surgery for Mom that we had to deal with. Surgery was scheduled for March 10th and I was gonna just extend my stay for as long as needed. But she had an epidural that gave much relief so surgery was moved to March 24th. This was great in that it made the remainder of our time together much more enjoyable for her and gave her some time to rest and prepare for surgery. Her pain had been so horrific that she was barely getting any sleep so was exhausted on top of being in such pain. I came home but left most all my stuff there cuz I was gonna be back in two weeks or so. A few days after I left Mom went for a 2nd opinion and with that and her internist talking to her there is a new plan of action… for now no surgery! This is great news and we are praying that she can continue with pain management in the form of epidurals and no surgery ever. Of course time will tell, but for now it’s wonderful news.
So, on my end all the not knowing when I was gonna be traveling or home.... trying to get my business organized… working around my hubby’s schedule and other family members… trying to plan ahead with not really knowing what the plans are. That on top of being in a not good place with my business and finances and really not seeing light at the end of this tunnel… I have been extremely stressed and finding it hard to feel comfort… finding it hard to be happy even. I’m worried, flat out concerned and worried. Even with the great news of no surgery for Mom, I still can’t seem to find peace within.
God is trying to show Himself to me, this I know and this is what I want to write about. As I’ve mentioned before, we are studying the book of Isaiah in BSF. We are at the part of Isaiah where God reveals great comfort to His people. Some of the passages we have read have been amazingly comforting and I wonder how I can walk away from reading and/or talking about them and within hours be back to feeling as stressed and unsure as I am. I do know without a doubt that I am studying exactly what I need to be studying at this time!
While I was in California I experienced bad dreams almost every night. They were actually early morning dreams that I would wake up from and not go back to sleep. The good part was when I woke up and realized they were just dreams I didn’t jump out of bed right away. I laid in bed and talked to Jesus… said good morning (something I said many blogs ago that I was going to work on doing daily) and just spent some time talking.
I think the dreams eased up towards the end of my trip and I haven’t noticed them since I got home except for one which I’m going to try to explain. It’s fuzzy, but here’s what I remember:
I was with my Mom someplace. It wasn’t a public place, but it wasn’t any of our homes as far as I can remember. I just knew it was someplace that was private and we were talking about something important. All of a sudden the door bursts open and there are people coming in. I had no idea who there were but my Mom did and she screamed out “no!” She threw me to the floor and then got on top of me and we started to roll away from the people. It was like we were embraced rolling down a hill fast. I felt complete terror. Still not knowing who they were I did know they were there to kill us. In an instant, and I mean instant… not gradually at all…. I felt calm. I felt calmer than I can remember ever feeling before. It was like it didn’t matter at all what happened, God was with me and all was well. I don’t know if He talked to me, I can’t remember if I said anything… I just know He was there and it was the most amazing feeling going from complete terror to complete reassurance and comfort.
It’s been days since I had that dream but I think about it all the time and wanted to share it. No clue why, just one of those things.
~ Lord, thank you for taking care of my family… especially Mom at this time. I ask that you please continue to embrace her, keep her comfy and help her with upcoming decisions. Also thank You for the comfort You give me and all Your children here on earth. Please help me to see what is important and to go through my days with less fear, stress and anxiety. I ask this in Jesus’ name, Amen.~
