Ramblings about children...

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

Matthew 19:14

First I want to thank all of you that have contacted me with such nice things to say about my blog. Many have said it’s been good to get to know me better… I’m happy to share this huge part of me with you!

Today at church our service was based around Christian Education Sunday. Although this pertains to education of young and old alike, I have come away thinking mostly about the young. I love watching the kids at our church… especially during worship services. Have I mentioned that I sing in the choir? Now please know this doesn’t mean I have a good singing voice… luckily for me our church choir will take anyone. We’ll talk more on my choir abilities another time. I mention this because I sit up in the chancel area and am able to get a good view of the congregation. Children are so much fun to watch and I can’t help but thank God for allowing these little ones to come to church and be in fellowship with other Christians. I also pray that they will continue with this fellowship and worship once they are old enough to make the choice on their own.

One of my biggest regrets in life is not having Jesus in my life sooner so that I could have exposed my daughter to Him. If you recall, I pretty much had nothing in my life… so that’s about what she was exposed to spiritually… nothing. What little of Judaism she could pick up from other family members would be about the extent of it. I can only hope and pray that God will pick at her like He did me… that she will see changes in me and want what I have… or meet up with any believers along her travels in this world and see something she needs in them.

What I do have are my grandchildren who are young and beautiful and full of life. They are across the country so it’s impossible to take them to church with me weekly… but I can talk to them on the phone and part of what we can talk about is Jesus. My grandson is two years old and our phone conversations have just begun… “Hi Memaw” “I love you” and a few other ramblings are about what I’m lucky enough to get right now. My grand-daughter is eight and she knows Jesus and loves Him, for which I am so very grateful. She spends time with me every summer… and before she started school it was more often. She has attended Vacation Bible School and of course goes to church with us.

A few years ago she was here in the spring. I had received a dvd in the mail around Christmas time but never watched it. We put it in one day and it turned out to be a very sweet film with some children talking about Jesus, doing a little play about Him and then one little boy was telling the viewers that if they wanted to accept Jesus into their lives they could do it right there with him. Unfortunately I was on the phone with a friend in need and wasn’t able to get off at that moment, but I observed my grand-daughter talking to the boy saying that she did want Jesus in her life. He prayed and she was right there with him in prayer. I know it’s difficult for her to hold on to the wonderful spiritual times we have once she goes home. We read the Bible together almost daily, pray at night and talk about God. She has so many wonderful questions, and of course many that I don’t have the answers to. But once she has gone home those things are gone for her. Jesus will never leave her, I know that and I believe she knows it too. I just wish and pray that she would have more support around her to keep the fire burning strong.

One time about a year ago I called her and she was so sad. Things just weren’t going the way “she” thought they should be… nothing major, the usual kid stuff. We talked and nothing at all was working to cheer her up. I don’t remember the exact comment but I said something to her about Jesus and all of a sudden her tone completely changed. She had a spark in her voice and I could feel her smile. We talked about Jesus for a few minutes and there was no more gloom and doom. Tell me this lil one doesn’t have the Holy Spirit in her! Makes my heart smile.

So, today at church I watched the children singing and receiving their new Bibles and smiling and enjoying being in the presence of God and His people. I’m so very thankful for all the parents that bring their kids to church and for all the people that dedicate their time to nurturing and teaching these little ones about our Lord. I am going to try to keep not only my family, young and old, in my prayers… but all those in the world that haven’t come to know Jesus.

~Dear Heavenly Father, thank you so much for reaching out and touching people of all ages. Thank you for making our little ones as important as anyone else. Please help me to know what to do, how to minister to those that don’t know you yet. Give me the words to say, the actions to take… please help me to let your Spirit shine through me. In Jesus’ name, Amen~

Uh-huh moment...

When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, "Who do people say the Son of Man is?" 

They replied, "Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets." 

"But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?" 

Simon Peter answered, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." 

Matthew 16:13-16

So, I’m living in North Carolina and am seeing people that have something I can’t really explain, but I want. One of these people is a friend of mine who I originally met when we had our horses boarded at the same barn and then started going to her to get my hair cut. She sensed my curiosity and often invited me to come to a Bible study she attended. BSF, Bible Study Fellowship, is an interdenominational study of the Bible, but I kept saying I couldn’t go… I was Jewish. I’m really stubborn, as some might attest, and I knew that I wouldn’t be welcomed at a Bible study!

I’m not sure exactly when this happened, I am going to guess it was in the spring of 2002. I was getting my hair cut and my friend and I were talking. I told her that I wanted to believe in Jesus but I just couldn’t understand how or who he was. Before I left her shop she opened her Bible and began to read to me. The scripture beginning at John 1:1 and at that moment it happened. It was a feeling I can only try to explain… I will term it as “acceptance of Him.” A rush or chill went through my body… it was very physical and noticeable to me. I believe it was the Holy Spirit, although at that moment I didn’t know that… all I knew was that I believed. I believed that Jesus exists and is the Son of God. It was my “Uh-huh” moment… the moment God choose to let me accept what I’ve been searching for.

I didn’t sneak into church anymore… I proudly walked in. I attended a newcomers class and in October 2002 was Baptized and became a member of our church. During that first year I grew and slowly gave up much of what I was finding no longer had a place in my life.

Attending church, doing some service work and making new friends was amazing, but I still wanted to get more into the Bible so…. yep, I did it. I started going to BSF in September 2003. The study that first year was “Israel and the Minor Prophets” an amazing study of the Old Testament. I learned more about my Jewish heritage in those nine months of study than I had learned in my entire life. Over the past seven years I have continued to learn about my heritage as a Jew and as a Christian, if that makes sense. I am both… there is no denying my Jewish heritage and I’m glad for that. But I’m one of the very very lucky ones that came to know Jesus Christ. I’m sure that if I had been alive back when He walked the earth with man, I would have followed and praised Him.

This past week I just started my eighth year of BSF… this year is the study of Isaiah. It’s a new study that was just added on. I thought I had completed the full seven year study and then they sprang this on us last spring. I’m happy and excited to be back. If you aren’t familiar with this study, a large group of women (or men if you are a man) meet then break up into small groups for discussion and then come back as a large group for a lecture. We had well over four hundred women in attendance this past week! And… God placed me in a small group that I’m so excited about. We have a great group of women and guess who is in my group for the first time… yep, that friend that didn’t give up on me, that nagged and nagged till I got it.

~Lord, You found me! Thank you for being with me that day, today and every day. I know I stumble and sometimes forget that you walk by my side… that your spirit is within me… but at the end of the day when I lay down to rest, I know you are here and kept me safe just one more time. Amen.~

Into adulthood...

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

James 1:5

So we approach adult years and I pretty much have no belief and didn’t really think about it too much.

In my early-mid twenties I started to attend Alanon meetings and began to work the 12-steps of the program. One of the first things was to believe there was a power greater than ourselves and be able to turn our lives over to this power. This “power” was “God as we understood him.” Honestly, at first I wasn’t able to call this power God. I was ok with a power greater than myself cuz I was a complete mess and obviously wasn’t able to fix things on my own… but to call this power that I was going to turn my life over to “God”, that wasn’t so easy. I don’t know exactly when or at what point I finally started to call him God, but it did happen. I became quite comfortable with “meditation” and in my meditation I was talking to my greater power. I now term what I was doing back then as “prayer”. My greater power was big and soft and comforting and I loved being in his presence. I even had a metal image of him… one I still see today. And he became God… my God. No deep religious connotation, just my God. I see this as one big step in the right direction on my path.

So now I’m going through my twenties and thirties and early forties being able to say the word God and to even say I believe that He exists. I would talk to him on very rare occasions, but still didn’t really get it.

There came a time where I started to realize that my life was missing something… something big. I had human relationships, I had the horse I always dreamed of having, my family was great… I didn’t know what it was but did try to search. I worshiped men and that didn’t work… I even tried to dabble a bit in Wicca. I got books and they just totally confused me and didn’t feel right. Nothing felt right.

To me the biggest knock over the head God gave me was in 1999. I was in a bad car accident and am very lucky to be alive… not only alive, but alive and well. Some bad cuts, bruises and broken bones along with a totaled vehicle… but alive. I found myself telling people that God must have kept me alive for a reason. In the back of my mind I wanted to find that reason.

My belief in God became much stronger and my search for what was missing became more apparent to me. I still dabbled in things that weren’t helpful… and they began to feel more and more wrong.

A few months after my accident I moved from California to North Carolina. Much culture shock involved in this move, but I believe very much for a reason too. Instead of donut shops and convenience stores on every corner I was now seeing churches everywhere. Everyone I met went to church on Sunday, including my boyfriend (now husband). I started to sneak into the early service at his church on Sunday mornings and I liked it. It was in English and there was singing and the people were nice. But there was one catch… Jesus. I didn’t know anything about Jesus. I listened and liked a lot of what was said. I wanted what the preacher said we could have and do with our lives. And even wanted to believe in Jesus, but I was Jewish and we never really talked about Jesus, but I did know that we didn’t worship him.

I’m going to end for now… but come back to read cuz it gets better!

~Lord, thank you for loving me through all my mistakes and bad moves in life. I now know that you will continue to do so and I pray that I continue to thank you for it. In Jesus’ name, Amen.~

Early years...

This is my command: Love each other.

John 15:17

It will take some time to get to today as I’m going to go back and write about prior years experiences and memories that have been a part of getting me to Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.

Once we are current my hope is to journal/blog about my faith journey at least weekly.

 

I was born in Los Angeles, California in the mid 1950’s to Jewish parents. We lived in one spot until I was eight months old then moved to the home I spent the rest of my childhood in. It was an middle class area and from what I remember religion wasn’t much of a prominent factor… race was more so. It was a “white” neighborhood. Something I found out when I befriended an Afro-American girl in elementary school and her parents didn’t think it would be a good idea for her to play at my house after school. This bit of information comes into play a bit later in my teen years.

We celebrated Hanukkah and Christmas, more presents for us so that worked for me! We did Hanukkah with my Dad’s side of the family and Christmas with Mom’s side. We went to temple on the “High Holidays”, which meant twice a year… Passover and Rosh Hashanah. I didn’t like going to temple I think mostly because much of it was in Hebrew and I didn’t understand. Our next door neighbors were Catholic and I would much rather go to church with them then have to go to temple. There were periods in my life where we seemed to be a bit more active in our temples. I vaguely recall some early Sunday school years and confirmation class at fifteen years old. Unfortunately my experience with confirmation studies wasn’t very good and it drove me away from wanting anything to do with religion for a long period of time.

I struggled with the concept of God and once asked my religious teacher, “What is God?” He told me that God can be anything I want. Being a confused rebellious teen I replied with, “peanut butter?” and his response to me was “if that’s what you want your God to be.” At some point prior to being confirmed our class went to a camp. I was talking to the Rabbi at camp and told him that my God was peanut butter. His response to me was, “Well then you aren’t a Jew.” That was about all I needed to hear to convince me that Judaism wasn’t for me. I finished up my studies and was confirmed because this was important to my family… especially my grandparents. In hind sight, I really wanted to know God and some compassionate and understanding adults may have been able to lead me in a better direction… but, this was all part of my path.

From that point forward I saw religion as just one more prejudice in the world… one more thing to pit us against one another. Race was obvious as there wasn’t much we could do about the color of our skin, but religion was less obvious and in my eyes an unnecessary evil. Racial segregation was still something that bothered me. Schools had started the busing in and out of students to integrate the schools and what a mess that was in my eyes. I went to Venice High School, which was naturally integrated so no busing was needed. However, the school was also naturally segregated… all you had to do was drive by at lunch time and you would see the groups of students sitting out eating with others of the same color. During my years there it was rather peaceful, but that wasn’t the norm… this naturally integrated school was known for its student to student racial attacks and that made me so sad.

As far as God went I didn’t think much about Him… I still had lots of confusion and termed myself as an agnostic. I always said I was Jewish by birth and liked some of the tradition, but you weren’t going to get me to go any deeper than that.

These were my early years. My next blog will get into my adult journey… the nudges and knocks over the head that finally brought me to Him.


~Lord, I thank you with all that I am for the road you have had me travel in order to find you. Please keep me focused on what it is you have for me to do today and always. Amen~